Shaking your nerves—or at least, your nervous habits
If you know me, you likely know my worst habit. If you’re close to me, you’ve probably yelled at me to stop—or admitted defeat against my split-end picking, noting it will likely never cease. For the last thirteen years (eeeeek) I’ve resorted to picking off the dead ends of my hair in moments of stress, sadness, consuming thought, and total boredom. What started as something I’d do listening to a presentation in middle school became a habit I’ve had to stop myself from doing mid-workday as a gainfully employed adult. Admitting (on metaphorical paper) that I’ve spent half my lifetime pulling off & damaging my hair—then complaining it never grows—is one of many ways I’m going to try to break the habit for good (I’ve been given gloves, hairnets, beaded anxiety rings, and much more in other, less serious attempts). And writing it down and publishing it seems as good a method of accountability as any.
I have friends and family members who bite their nails, pick at their eyebrows, scratch at their skin—most people likely have a habit they’d like to break, be it a physical symptom of anxiety or a mental barrier they need to cross. But one step I’ve long avoided is looking into the why behind my worst one and using it as a means to finally split from my split ends.
Split-end picking, nail-biting, and other physical impulse control disorders are called “Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors” or BFRBs. A doctor & president of the World Trichology Society, which studies hair and scalp-related disorders, told Refinery29 that split-end picking (and along with it, other BFRBs) can reportedly be harder to quit than smoking—a startling fact that eased a bit of my guilt and anxiety over my anxious habit. “I’ve had patients who’ve been peeling or picking their split ends for long over a decade. Most don’t even realize they are doing it, others refuse to admit to it. It’s quite deep-rooted in the psyche,” Dr. David Kinsley told the site.
The “why” I could find
While research indicates that some people are genetically predisposed to BFRBs, there are other contributing factors to consider. The BFRB org’s website lists temperament, environment, the age you start engaging, and stress factors, to name a few.
Many, myself included, have stress triggers that set the behavior in motion. Oftentimes, it’s a vicious cycle—for example, when I have a large task in front of me, like a project at work, I’ll begin to pick my ends as I get caught up thinking about what’s ahead (I’ve stopped & started with this very article three or so times now)—and then once I realize the habit is preventing me from being productive, I’ll stress even more, and the cycle continues.
A Healthline article described it best; “Trich is a compounding anxiety. You pull because you’re anxious, and you’re anxious because you can’t stop pulling.”
The tools to tackle nervous habits
There’s no “cure” in the traditional sense of the word for BFRBs like trich—all you can really do is try to break the habit. Various sources recommend a number of different treatment methods for those dealing with a BFRB. For anyone who is newer to exploring the root cause—i.e., potential anxiety that triggers these behaviors—cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and commitment therapy are two recommendations. CBT helps us work to identify and change the thoughts that influence behaviors like nail picking and hair pulling (and more). Commitment or “acceptance” therapy helps us tap into the motivation behind the behavior—the “urges”—and accept them mentally as opposed to through physical acts like pulling.
There are also more physically-driven corrective steps you can take, including habit reversal and even hypnosis. Habit reversal therapy, identified as one of the most common treatments for behaviors like trich, helps by creating a different, less harmful habit in place of the current one (an example is utilizing a beaded ring, or clenching your fists when you have the urge to act on a habit).
Hypnosis is also an often overlooked but reportedly effective solution. While we always advocate for doing your own research (few solutions are usually one-size-fits-all), actress Olivia Munn, who dealt with compulsive trichotillomania, can vouch for the benefits of hypnotism & habit shaking.
Not everyone has access to hypnotherapy or top cognitive behavioral therapists. WebMD recommends "the bait-and-switch,” similar to habit reversal (chewing gum or braiding rope rather than picking or biting) and there are also hypnosis videos and meditations you can try from the comfort of your home for free. Vanessa Gorelkin, an Occupational Therapist, told Fit To Get Well that the “do it yourself” behavioral chain analysis has also helped clients with hard-to-break habits in the past.
“Consider the most recent time you engaged in the habit and ask yourself:
What were your thoughts leading up to engaging in the habit behavior?
What physical sensations and emotional or mental stimuli occurred before, during, and after the behavior? What about the day before?
“Once you begin to look at the chain of events, sensations, and feelings related to a habit, you can plan how you might respond differently the next time. You can also write a pro & con list—look as deeply as you can and consider what you’re gaining, and losing, from this habit. A bonus: mindfulness and relaxation training can be very useful, too! Learning to manage distress with more healthy and soothing approaches is a key to supporting your habit-breaking journey.”
For me? The recommended step of holding yourself accountable—specifically, writing it down—has helped. I log the days I don’t make progress, and I celebrate the ones I do. I remind myself that beyond losing hair, sleep, and focus, missing out on moments because I’m caught up in my head—my hands literally so—is the habit I gain the most from breaking.
