Harnessing our inner strengths: how to use motivational interviewing principles in daily life
Even though we can rack up lots of valid excuses about why we’re not able to accomplish our most significant goals, self-forgiveness may not be enough to put our minds at ease if we’re aching to make a change. For example, nearly all of the clients I work with express the desire to be more active. Yet they feel stuck in a pattern of wishing they could change, followed by guilt about failure in following through.
Lately, the struggle is real: we’ve been living with a global pandemic for nearly a year as I write this. We’ve seen the world in chaos. We’ve witnessed volatile politics and unrest. We’ve come to expect our daily lives to be altered from our ‘norms.’ So, our personal expectations may be lagging behind. One technique I use in my therapy practice that helps unlock the ability to set goals and reach them: motivational interviewing.
What is motivational interviewing?
Motivational interviewing is a counseling technique that helps you reflect and find internal motivation. You’re in the driver’s seat here. No matter the goal—avoiding procrastination, getting to sleep at a regular hour, or eating healthier foods—even when you set your own goals, it’s hard to follow through. To make matters worse, when you’re unable to reach your goals, you feel discouraged and anxious about your perceived inability to be ‘disciplined.’ This is where motivational interviewing techniques can set you up for success.
Instead of plunging right into an enforced change, motivational interviewing helps you examine your desired change. Through a multi-step method, you'll weigh the pros and cons of accomplishing your goal, pay particular attention and identify any internal roadblocks (i.e. how could you potentially stand in your own way?), and more. Once you address all angles of the goal, you move on to the final step: creating reasonable actions you can take to reach the goal.
Sounds great. Now what?
Since motivational interviewing is a technique used by trained therapists, is it possible to use this technique in a self-help context? The answer: yes and no. The most effective motivational interviewing process is done with a trained professional who is able to help you look more deeply at the wanted or needed change you’re attempting. However, you can implement some of these strategies to help yourself progress towards your goals on your own time.
Here’s how you might apply motivational interviewing in your own life: start with a desire, identify any resistance, and then choose methods to address a goal.
Step one: identify
Identify a change you’d like to accomplish. Consider the pros and cons of attempting your goal. Be honest with yourself—openly consider your feelings about the goal, even if they seem contradictory. Grab a pen and make a list of your thoughts in two columns, listing the pros and cons of your decision. Or, you can write in a more narrative format, like a journal.
Step two: develop a matching plan
Now that you’ve examined some feelings around the pros and cons, congrats! You’re done with the most involved part of the process. The next step is to create a plan to address the issues related to your examination of your feelings. Look over your journal or list and develop some steps related to your responses.
In this way, you transform your hopes and concerns, in manageable installments, into actionable items you can address at a pace that feels comfortable for you.
By the time you are finished (give yourself plenty of time to consider all aspects of a decision,) you will have keyed into your rationale for moving forward and your resistance to avoiding your goal. Addressing these items then allows you to develop an action plan that makes sense.
What’s the catch?
FYI: when you apply the principles of motivational interviewing to determining how to make a change, there’s no guarantee that your self-discovery process will yield the result you want. You might find that you’re not ready to make a change at this time. After examining your feelings about it, you may or may not decide it’s the right thing for you (right now!).
What you’ll leave with instead: a clearer view of your goals and likely, more success and peace with your decision(s). Motivational interviewing helps to resolve those conflicted feelings that often stand in the way of successful goal attainment. It also helps us set aside a goal that isn’t right for us at this time by understanding and acknowledging our sense of resistance.
But there are some changes that ought to be made sooner than later. When your health is at risk, you’ll need a pro at your side. For example, motivational interviewing is used in substance use disorder settings by professional counselors. That’s because goals that seem insurmountable like overcoming substance abuse can feel daunting—but your health is at stake. Other areas where self-help probably won’t cut it? Work with a trained counselor on eating disorders, clinical depression and anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorders.
If your health isn’t at risk, using motivational interviewing concepts for self-help is a fine idea. For instance, if you’re trying to get yourself to floss your teeth daily, there’s no danger in taking some time to examine how you can best reach your goal.
What if I don’t have a goal or want a change right now?
A final note for the exhausted, overwhelmed or stressed: let’s remember that pandemic I mentioned at the beginning of this article. You don’t have to change anything right now. Survival is enough!
Some people are feeling pressured to work on “self-improvement projects“ because they have more time at home. To this, I say “rubbish.“ The most important thing is to assess your own situation and act accordingly. I encourage everyone to take a gentle approach with yourself. Do your best each day, and if that means simple and basic care of yourself and the people in your life is your limit, remember that is definitely good enough.
A note from Vanessa:
Full disclosure, as a therapist, I want you to access the assistance of a trained professional if you’re in need of help! If you read this article thinking, ‘this motivational interviewing thing sounds pretty good—and I’ve been thinking I could use some therapy. Maybe I should see a therapist?’ You might be surprised how many people struggle with the decision to seek out therapy. My advice would be to check it out. Just FYI—there’s no contractual obligation to pay for services if you’re just shopping around.
