What it’s like to grieve during a pandemic

There’s a certain level of ceremony when it comes to grieving that just helps. No matter where you come from, grieving often means coming together, sharing memories & stories, and (if you get the chance) saying goodbye. It’s crucial and it’s precious and it means a lot and even though part of you wishes it was over already, it can be cathartic and absolutely necessary too.

Amid the cacophony of grief in 2020—our departure from “normal” life aside, collectively it seems like there’s a profound sense of loss all around. Many of us found ourselves grieving for people we’ve never met, like George Floyd, whose memory has inspired a tidal wave of anger, and hopefully, change. Others found themselves holding up signs against windows, close enough to touch but with more than a window in between. No matter if you’ve lost a loved one this year or someone further from home, this level of distancing adds a layer of anger, frustration and emptiness that we haven’t quite found our way out of.

I wondered about all of this from a distance this year as an elderly loved one passed away, and simultaneously my work disappeared and friends moved away. We couldn’t hug, hold hands, or even exchange casseroles. We exchanged last words on FaceTime and behind masks. Months later, these questions are still on my mind:

How do you grieve together and stay apart at the same time?
How do you say goodbye without holding hands?
How do you help without being able to show up—in a situation where showing up might be the only thing that matters?

The list of questions goes on, with far too many to write down. And while I don’t have all the answers, it helps to know I’m not alone.

For resources including PDF guides, webinars, podcasts & more on grieving during COVID-19, visit goodgrief.org’s page here.